Things I dont think that I would say story

John woke up.
It was bright and sunny.
But when he went into the breakfast room, his dad said,
"Its a dark day."
John was confused.
He went to school.
His mopey friend Jim said,
"I love school, especially all the busywork."
John was confused.
He ran into Arthur.
Arthur said, "God bless Hillary Clinton, Obama, and all those other godless liberals.
John was confused.
Then it dawned on him.
It must be opposite day.
"Oh, I get it," he said,
"I have one."
"The braves suck."
Arthur broke his jaw.