oh here comes the world today
down to the trial of rich mckay
down to the life to be undone
down to the end of his big run

The greatest winner the world had seen
Until they caught him in between
Bars and cells and things unknown
And now the finale will be shown

Cheat, crook, lier, thief
are all his, won on the street
but most of all, his favorite thing
would have to be pitpocketing

Anyone can do the fraud
Anyone can con aunt maud
but it takes a special soul
to have your pocket as a goal

Greatest the world had ever seen
Took wallets and checkbooks like a king
Vowed against all other crime
Pit pocketing stole his heart and time

That was, until they set a sting
and got him caught within a ring
of police and coppers and and SWAT teams too
there was nothing he could do

so here comes the world today
down to the trial of Rich Mckay
down to the life to be undone
down to the end of his big run

And heres the judge, a big old man
Who doesn't look like he's a fan
He's as serious as a moose
He holds his gavel like a noose

"So, Mr. McKay, I see your here,"
he said, "You're the catch of the year.
But I'm a nice man, I'll hear your case.
I'll be the finish line to your race

So the trial went on, and days dragged on
Witnesses went up, and then were gone
And at the end, it was just McKay
And the judge would have his way

"Mr. McKay," he said, "Ive heard you case."
And find your life to be a waste
But I think Ive found a cure
A place were pitpocketing has no lure

"Where?" said McKay, frightened of death
Feeling a bit like MacBeth
But after he heard the judges cure
He found that pit pocketing had lost its lure

Where was he sent, you might ask
What place matches with that task
Its very simple, don't you see
He was sent to a nudest colony